Goresan Tinta Emas

The main purpose of marriage and sex, is to have children. So if the wife is barren, then the husband should take another wife so he can have an heir. 

The first wife is allowed to object to the husband taking a second wife. If the husband does not listen to her wishes, this is actually grounds to divorce him. 

When Allah created humans, He created Adam and Eve. He created Eve to be Adam’s wife, and only Eve. This is the way Allah created marriage to be. The husband and wife are to become one. How can a husband be one with more than one wife? 

Using the same Islamic reasoning, it should be that some women marry an extra man. Science has even proven that single men suffer more health and emotional problems than do single women. Men find it hard to live without a woman.

Why is a man allowed to marry more than one wife in Islam? Or why is polygamy allowed in Islam?

1.      Definition of Polygamy

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types:

a)      Polygyny         : where a man marries more than one woman

b)      Polyandry        : where a woman marries more than one man.

In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted and polyandry is completely prohibited. Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife?

2.      Qur'an is the only religious scripture in the world that says 'marry only one'

Qur'an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase 'marry only one'. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. But, polygyny is permitted in Judaism.

3.       Qur'an permits limited polygyny

As I mentioned earlier, Qur'an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says 'marry only one'. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah An-Nisa of the Glorious Qur'an:

 '....Marry woman of your choice in twos' threes' or fours' but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one' [Al-Qur'an An-Nisa : 3]

Before the Qur'an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals with them justly. In the same chapter i.e. Surah An-Nisa verse 129 says:   

'It is very difficult to be just and fair between women.....' [Al-Qur'an An-Nisa : 129)]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to marry more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do's and Dont's.

a.       'Farz' i.e compulsory

b.      'Mustahab' i.e recommended or encouraged

c.       'Mubah' i.e permissible

d.      'Makruh' i.e 'not recommended' or discouraged

e.       'Haram' i.e prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.

4.      Average life span of females is more than that of males

By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. During paediatric age however, in childhood itself a female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, there are more deaths among males as compared to the females during paediatric age.

During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.

Regardless of it not being acceptable for the husband of Muhammad's daughter, Islam allows a man to marry up to four wives at any one time

Islam also does not require that the man have the permission of his first wife before marrying a second:

Muhammad was a polygamist. Besides the numerous concubines, he married fifteen women and consummated his marriages with thirteen. He was also known as a "womanizer".

Muslims claim that the reason why Allah allowed men to marry four wives is that men are killed in battle, thus resulting in women being in more numbers more than men. They also claim that the practice of polygamy curbs adultery, thus leading to more happier marriages and less divorces. Here are some points that deal with Islam's defense of polygamy.

Apologists will attempt to justify his behaviour by claiming he married many of his wives due to them being war widows who were left with nothing and needed to be taken care of. While this may sound plausible, you need only look to actual Islamic sources to discover that this is false.

Many of his wives were not poor war widows. In fact, one of his wives (Muhammad's cousin, Zainab bint Jash) was originally the wife of his step-son Zaid bin Haritha. As was the case with Safiyah bint Huyayy, many of his marriages were clearly based on lust, not compassion. This is nowhere more evident than in his numerous divorces, which numbered six in total. For example; he divorced ‘Amrah bint Yazid on their wedding night, due to her suffering from leprosy. He also divorced a women named Ghaziyyah bint Jabir when he realised that she was 'old'. To make matters worse, he, rather hypocritically, refused to allow Ali bin Abu Talib (the husband of his daughter Fatima) to take even a second wife because "what hurts her, hurts me." He knew that polygamy hurt women, yet through his example he permitted it for billions of other Muslim men.

H.    Polygamy with a maximum of four wives

For the historical and literary topical contexts of Sura An-Nisa:

The Quran in Sura An-Nisa : 3 says:

And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two or three or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife, or marry those who have fallen in your possession.

The key clauses are "you will not be able to do justice to the orphans" and "you may marry two or three or four women whom you choose." Maududi is a respected traditional and conservative commentator on the Quran. So we should let him explain what they mean. He says that the clauses accomplished three things:

1.      In pre-Islamic Arabia, guardian men married the orphan girls under their care, so the Quran says that they should direct their attention to women other than the orphans.

2.      In pre-Islamic days men used to marry a limitless number of women and grab the property of their orphan nephews and nieces to support their wives.

3.      In pre-Islamic days, men could marry as many women as they wanted and "treat them cruelly and unjustly" with impunity. So the Quran limits the number to four, and only if the man could keep care of them all: "But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them."

Also, the clause "marry those who have fallen in your possession" means slave-girls who were captured in a war. Men may "marry" them because slaves do not incur very much expense, not as much as free women do. Maududi paraphrases the meaning of the clause: " If you need more than one [wife] but are afraid that you might not be able to do justice to your wives from among the free people, you may turn to slave girls because in that case you will be burdened with less responsibilities ". This is not surprising, since the slave-girl was sexual property (at Sura An-Nisa : 24).

This means that the limit of four wives is artificial. Men could have sex with as many women as they wanted from among their slaves.

Despite these different conditions, we should step back and look at the big picture. It may be true that Muhammad was curtailing the polygamous custom of Arabs who lived around him, but he did not go far enough. A man may "marry" four wives, but have sex with his slave-girls, and the number of these latter is not limited. According to the timeless and universal Quran, therefore, Muslims today have the right to practice polygamy. Wherever Islam engages in the slave trade or captures women prisoners of war, Muslims may have sex with them.

Bibliography:

1.      Khalik, Abdul (2 Feb 2009). "Women Reject Polygamy, Choosing Divorce". The Jakarta Post.

2.      Moghadam, Valentine (2002). "Islamic Feminism and Its Discontents: Toward a Resolution of the Debate". Signs

3.      Noel Coulson; Doreen Hinchcliffe (1978). Louis Beck and Nikki Keddie, ed. Women in the Muslim World. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press

4.      Walther, Wiebke (1993). Women in Islam. New York, New York: Marcus Weiner Publishing

5.      http://www.biblicalpolygamy.com/

Ø  Encouraged                             : Mendukung