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- Marriage in Islam
Marriage is a legal arrangement in Islam, Islamic marriage lays rights and
corresponding responsibilities on each spouse. Children born in wedlock
are given legitimacy and share in inheritance from their parents.
The primary purpose of marriage in
Islam is regulating sexuality within marriage as well as creating an atmosphere
for the continuity and extension of the family. This is in sharp contrast
to growing trends on marriage in the West. In recent decades, there are
more alternatives to marriage than ever before. Cohabitation - living
together outside of marriage - has greatly increased among young, never-married
adults, as well as the divorced. More American women are having children
outside of marriage, ignoring the traditionally sanctioned sequence of marriage
followed by childbearing.
B. The Islamic Reason for Marriage
The main purpose of marriage and sex,
is to have children. So if the wife is barren, then the husband should take
another wife so he can have an heir.
The first wife is allowed to object to
the husband taking a second wife. If the husband does not listen to her wishes,
this is actually grounds to divorce him.
C. Marriage As Ordained by Allah
When Allah created humans, He created
Adam and Eve. He created Eve to be Adam’s wife, and only Eve. This is the way
Allah created marriage to be. The husband and wife are to become one. How can a
husband be one with more than one wife?
Using the same Islamic reasoning, it
should be that some women marry an extra man. Science has even proven that
single men suffer more health and emotional problems than do single women. Men
find it hard to live without a woman.
Why is a man allowed to marry more than
one wife in Islam? Or why is polygamy allowed in Islam?
1.
Definition of Polygamy
Polygamy means a
system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be
of two types:
a)
Polygyny :
where a man marries more than one woman
b)
Polyandry : where
a woman marries more than one man.
In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted
and polyandry is completely prohibited. Now coming to the original question,
why is a man allowed to have more than one wife?
2.
Qur'an is the only
religious scripture in the world that says 'marry only one'
Qur'an is the only religious book, on
the face of this earth, that contains the phrase 'marry only one'. There is no
other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. According to
these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. But, polygyny is permitted in Judaism.
3. Qur'an permits limited
polygyny
As I mentioned
earlier, Qur'an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says
'marry only one'. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah An-Nisa of the Glorious Qur'an:
'....Marry woman of your choice in twos' threes' or fours' but if ye
fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one'
[Al-Qur'an An-Nisa : 3]
Before the Qur'an was revealed, there
was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even
hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission
to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals with
them justly. In the same chapter i.e. Surah An-Nisa verse 129 says:
'It is very difficult to be just and
fair between women.....'
[Al-Qur'an An-Nisa : 129)]
Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an
exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a
Muslim man to marry more than one wife.
Broadly, Islam has
five categories of Do's and Dont's.
a.
'Farz' i.e compulsory
b.
'Mustahab' i.e recommended or
encouraged
c.
'Mubah' i.e permissible
d.
'Makruh' i.e 'not recommended' or
discouraged
e.
'Haram' i.e prohibited or
forbidden
Polygyny falls in the middle category
of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two,
three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one
wife.
4.
Average life span of
females is more than that of males
By nature males and females are born in
approximately the same ratio. During paediatric age however, in childhood
itself a female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can
fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, there
are more deaths among males as compared to the females during paediatric age.
During wars, there are more men killed
as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women.
The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given
time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.
The Muslim scripture, the Quran, is the only known world
scripture to explicitly limit polygamy and place strict restrictions upon its
practice: “… marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you
fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one.”
(Quran An-Nisa : 3)
The Quran limited the maximum number
of wives to four. In the early days of Islam, those who had more than
four wives at the time of embracing Islam were required to divorce the extra
wives. Islam further reformed the institution of polygamy by requiring
equal treatment to all wives. The Muslim is not permitted to
differentiate between his wives in regards to sustenance and expenditures,
time, and other obligations of husbands. Islam does not allow a man to
marry another woman if he will not be fair in his treatment. Prophet
Muhammad forbade discrimination between the wives or between their children.
E. Polygamy Permitted in Islam
Regardless of it not being acceptable
for the husband of Muhammad's daughter, Islam allows a man to marry up to four
wives at any one time
And if you fear that
you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to
you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice
(between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is
more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.
Islam also does not require that the
man have the permission of his first wife before marrying a second:
F. Muhammad and Polygamy
Muhammad was a polygamist. Besides the numerous concubines, he
married fifteen women and consummated his marriages with thirteen. He was also
known as a "womanizer".
Narrated Qatada: Anas
bin Malik said, "The Prophet used to visit all his wives in a round,
during the day and night and they were eleven in number." I asked
Anas, "Had the Prophet the strength for it?" Anas replied, "We
used to say that the Prophet was given the strength of thirty (men)."
And Sa'id said on the authority of Qatada that Anas had told him about nine
wives only (not eleven).
G. Islamic Defense of Polygamy
Muslims claim that the reason why Allah
allowed men to marry four wives is that men are killed in battle, thus
resulting in women being in more numbers more than men. They also claim that
the practice of polygamy curbs adultery, thus leading to more happier marriages
and less divorces. Here are some points that deal with Islam's defense of
polygamy.
Apologists will attempt to justify his
behaviour by claiming he married many of his wives due to them being war widows
who were left with nothing and needed to be taken care of. While this may sound
plausible, you need only look to actual Islamic sources to discover that this
is false.
Many of his wives were not poor war
widows. In fact, one of his wives (Muhammad's cousin, Zainab bint Jash) was
originally the wife of his step-son Zaid bin Haritha. As was the case with Safiyah bint Huyayy, many
of his marriages were clearly based on lust, not compassion. This is nowhere
more evident than in his numerous divorces, which numbered six in total. For
example; he divorced ‘Amrah bint Yazid on their wedding night, due to her
suffering from leprosy.
He also divorced a women named Ghaziyyah bint Jabir when he realised that she
was 'old'. To make matters worse, he, rather hypocritically, refused to allow
Ali bin Abu Talib (the husband of his daughter Fatima) to take even a second
wife because "what hurts her, hurts me." He knew that polygamy hurt
women, yet through his example he permitted it for billions of other Muslim
men.
H.
Polygamy with a maximum of four
wives
For the historical and literary topical contexts of Sura An-Nisa:
The Quran in Sura An-Nisa : 3 says:
And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do
justice to the orphans, you may marry two or three or four women whom you
choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them,
then marry only one wife, or marry those who have fallen in your possession.
The key clauses are "you will not
be able to do justice to the orphans" and "you may marry two or three
or four women whom you choose." Maududi is a respected traditional and conservative commentator on the
Quran. So we should let him explain what they mean. He says that the clauses
accomplished three things:
1.
In pre-Islamic Arabia, guardian men married the orphan girls under
their care, so the Quran says that they should direct their attention to women
other than the orphans.
2.
In pre-Islamic days men used to marry a limitless number of women
and grab the property of their orphan nephews and nieces to support their
wives.
3.
In pre-Islamic days, men could marry as many women as they wanted
and "treat them cruelly and unjustly" with impunity. So the Quran
limits the number to four, and only if the man could keep care of them all:
"But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to
them."
Also, the clause "marry those who
have fallen in your possession" means slave-girls who were captured in a
war. Men may "marry" them because slaves do not incur very
much expense, not as much as free women do. Maududi paraphrases the meaning of the clause: " If you need more than one [wife] but are
afraid that you might not be able to do justice to your wives from among the
free people, you may turn to slave girls because in that case you will be burdened
with less responsibilities ". This is not surprising, since the
slave-girl was sexual property (at
Sura An-Nisa : 24).
This means that the limit of four wives
is artificial. Men could have sex with as many women as they wanted from among
their slaves.
Despite these different conditions, we
should step back and look at the big picture. It may be true that Muhammad was
curtailing the polygamous custom of Arabs who lived around him, but he did not
go far enough. A man may "marry" four wives, but have sex with his
slave-girls, and the number of these latter is not limited. According to the
timeless and universal Quran, therefore, Muslims today have the right to
practice polygamy. Wherever Islam engages in the slave trade or captures women
prisoners of war, Muslims may have sex with them.
Bibliography:
1.
Khalik, Abdul (2 Feb 2009). "Women Reject Polygamy,
Choosing Divorce". The Jakarta Post.
2.
Moghadam, Valentine (2002). "Islamic Feminism and Its
Discontents: Toward a Resolution of the Debate". Signs
3.
Noel Coulson;
Doreen Hinchcliffe (1978). Louis Beck and Nikki Keddie, ed. Women in the
Muslim World. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press
4.
Walther, Wiebke (1993). Women in Islam. New York, New
York: Marcus Weiner Publishing
5. http://www.biblicalpolygamy.com/
Vocabulary :
Ø Lays
rights :
Memberikan Keadilan
Ø Corresponding : Sesuai, Disamakan
Ø Spouse : Suami / Istri
Ø Born
in Wedlock : Anak Yang Sah
Ø Legitimacy : Hak Kekuasaan
Ø Inheritance : Harta Warisan
Ø Extension : Perluasan,
Perpanjangan
Ø Trends :
Kecenderungan
Ø Divorced : Perceraian,
Pemisahan
Ø Sanctioned
Sequence :
Urutan Persetujuan
Ø Childbearing :
Mampu Melahirkan
Ø Barren : Mandul
Ø Heir :
Waris
Ø Grounds :
Alasan-alasan
Ø Ordained :
Ditakdirkan
Ø Proven : Membuktikan
Ø Suffer : Menderita
Ø Phrase : Ungkapan
Ø Restriction :
Pembatasan
Ø Judaism :
Adat Istiadat Yahudi
Ø Revealed :
Menyatakan, Mengungkapkan
Ø Exception :
Pengecualian
Ø Misconception : Salah Paham
Ø Compulsory :
Diwajibkan
Ø
Encouraged :
Mendukung
Ø Compared :
Membandingkan
Ø Approximately :
Kira-kira
Ø Ratio :
Perbandingan
Ø Paediatric :
Ilmu Penyakit anak-anak
Ø Childhood :
Masa kanak-kanak
Ø Germs : Kuman
Ø Diseases :
Penyakit
Ø Widows :
Janda
Ø Explicitly : Dengan Tegas
Ø Strict
Restrictions : Larangan Keras
Ø Embracing : Mencangkup
Ø Required : Menghendaki
Ø Equal
Treatment :
Perlakuan sama
Ø Sustenance : Makanan
Ø Expenditures :
Pengeluaran, Belanja
Ø Fair : Adil
Ø Orphans :
Anak Yatim
Ø Proper : Pantas, Patut
Ø Deviate :
Menyimpang
Ø Claim : Menegaskan
Ø Curbs : Mengekang
Ø Adultery :
Berzina
Ø Defense : Pertahanan,
Pembelaan
Ø Attempt to :
Berusaha Untuk
Ø Due :
(hak) Dalam Kaitan Dengan
Ø Plausible :
Masuk Akal
Ø Sources :
Sumber
Ø Case :
Perkara, Kasus
Ø Lust :
Nafsu, Syahwat
Ø Compassion : Keharusan, Perasaan Kasihan
Ø Evident :
Jelas, Penting
Ø Hypocritically :
Bersifat Munafik, Bermuka Dua
Ø Literary :
yang Berkaitan Dengan Kesusasteraan
Ø Grab :
Merebut, Mengambil
Ø Nephews :
Kemenakan Laki-laki
Ø Nieces : Kemenakan Perempuan
Ø Treat :
Memperlakukan
Ø Impunity :
Kebebesan dari hukuman
Ø Apprehend :
Memahami
Ø Slaves : Budak
Ø Incur :
Mendatangkan
Ø Paraphrases :
Menafsirkan
Ø Burdened :
Beban, Menyusahkan
Ø Artificial :
Buatan, Palsu
Ø Despite :
Meskipun, Walaupun
Ø Curtailing :
Membatasi
Ø Timeless :
Tanpa Perhitungan Waktu
Ø Engages :
Menggunakan
Ø Trade : Perdagangan
Ø Captures :
Penangkapan
Ø Prisoners :
Tawanan
Ø i.e. :
Dengan Kata Lain
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